The Whiskey Wedding
Your brother, best friend, college buddy or cousin twice removed – after all, it’s not really going to matter by the end of the reception – is getting married and you’re invited. This means several things, many of them itchy and uncomfortable – but it also means that you will undoubtedly be submitted to the curse of the open bar whiskey. The poison you pick will surely be a blend of some sort as not many people you know – assuming you are part of the standard hoi polloi and riff raff – will be dropping three, four or five digits on single malts for everybody only to see it puked up on the manicured country club lawn afterward. Not to mention the fact that the host of this shindig just shelled out something in the four or five digits for the wedding and reception in the first place.
Needless to say, at most wedding receptions, in addition to Uncle Joe flatfootin’ for the folks, you will be encountering either some Canadian blended whiskey that will inevitably be paired with a citrus soda liquid called 7-Up or if you are really lucky, some DeWar’s White Label which isn’t really too bad when it’s an open bar, you know? It could be worse. Much, much worse.